Poetry from January and February 2024, an unedited glimpse into an ordinary life.
This Week
I want space this week
to think
I claim it now
from my future self
escaping self
distracting self
repressing self
don't reach
for noise, lights, substitutes
sit
in the feeling
wait
in the discomfort
breathe
let your breath push back
make space
to think
Tummy Bug Beatitudes
retch
run
splash
he didn't make it to the loo
I am proud of his attempt
he is getting so big
he makes it for the next wave
I jump the vomit
stroke his back
baby heads for the puddle-pile
I leap to intercept
time moves in desperate bursts
and long hours
flashes of joy
boredom
laughter
chunder
I am a mama
I am tired
I am blessed
THINGS I DID TODAY
Today I
got up
even though I wanted to beg
for another hour of sleep
I walked a dog
(not my own)
at eight am
with two kids
dressed for the cold
I got in a shower
even used
an exfoliating sponge thing
I shopped for groceries
cooked two meals
I apologized to my son
"Mama, don't talk to me like that"
after I shouted
I did it without a 'but' after
I went to a playground
chatted with friends
I took time
to notice the light
I put two kids to bed
I cleaned a kitchen
I wrote a poem
to look at what I did do
however imperfectly
however detached
however human
I let this poem sum my day up
not the other ones:
Things I Didn't Do Today
Things I Shouldn't Have Done Today
Things I Should Have Done Better Today
those I hand over
unclenching my fist
dropping them
into grace
the grace that catches me too
To The Friends Who Share Our Tummy Bugs
Lent started today
so did my period
its valentines day
and the day the tummy bug caught up with me
two kids in the bathroom
while I vomit
one flushed before I can stand
the other heads eagerly
hands stretched out to the bowl
"Mama, why are you brushing your teeth?"
I message a friend
"Sure, bring him"
I do
hold a sleeping baby
put her down
curl up
hold myself close
breathe
and
breathe
and breathe
baby up
time to fetch the boy
and fill an afternoon
and play
and retch
and cook
and breathe
and walk
and breathe
and another friend comes
to read and read and read
the airplane book
kids asleep
friends sit
and chat and laugh
and breathe and breathe and breathe
What is mine?
We can hold
the gratitude
and the sorrow
the challenge
and the gentleness
the works
and the grace
our failures
and our intact value
we learn
we grow
we look
at the tiny buds at the base
as we drastically prune the branches
we feel the sun, so gentle
as we pull and till and cut
we feel
joy
in the care
and the promise
in Autumn we prune roses till knee high
at the end of Winter, even shorter
then we give them fertilizer
and make sure they have enough water
in time for the sun to slowly
beckon them
as spring nears
we need
the nutrients
and the pruning
the water
and the sunlight
the right type
in the right season
the pruning is about energy
the rose needs to focus on the important thing
for that time
what is mine?
So Much More
Banter with you
light
and fun
silly rhyming
about a big change
it is still me
it is still you
in the big
and the inconsequential
we are together
it is
more
than we ever thought it would be
more difficult
more beautiful
this life
this family
this 'I do'
more than the sum of its parts
so much more
breathtaking
it is here and now
and a thousand intentional here and nows
it is in the fog
and in the rays of light
hands holding tight
it is you
it is me
we are together
Joy Rise Up
In the silence
and the noise
in my weakness
and my wilting morale
let joy rise up
let joy rise up
where I end
and where I sigh
in my wallowing
my circling of me
let joy rise up
let joy rise up
turn my face
to You
the light of Your face
hold my cheek gently
let joy rise up
let joy rise up
I share the inheritance
of the Bright Morning Star
I am a child
of Light
let joy rise up
let joy rise up
draw me close
O Merciful One
God Who Sees Me
see me now
let joy rise up
let joy rise up
You have placed in me a longing
for eternity
for home
help me abide in You
let joy rise up
let joy rise up
Thanks for reading! I often journaled in poems during the last part of Winter so if they read more like prose than poetry, that is why. It really helped process my days and stay (fairly) consistent with my evening routine when I couldn't find the energy to use actual sentences. I chose a few to share because I think we all crave insight into the lives of others; whether it is to help us feel seen and connected or to help us understand the experience of people whose lives are different to ours. I hope these poems could do one of those things for you.